I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize