ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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