just come out here and I will go home with you...
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
