If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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