Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Randomize
