U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
