I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Randomize
