i permit you to call me
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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