Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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