i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
