I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
