Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
