i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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