She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
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