He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
