Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize