Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
