Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Randomize
