very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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