at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize