You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
