i jhust puked up my retainher.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
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