Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
