We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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