it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
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