I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
nutella sex= disaster
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
