This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
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