I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
