Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
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