Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
