I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
