Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
