we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
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