watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
