My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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