I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
