Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Randomize