Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Randomize
