Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize