I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
