i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
