Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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