He uses pillows to masturbate.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize