his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
