Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
