he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize