Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
