Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
