would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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