Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize