So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I have so many feelings about this burrito
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
