You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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