I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
