well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
