...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
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