it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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