I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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