me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
