what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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