And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
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