i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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