I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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